Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Days 22 & 23: It's all relative

No pics today-- blogging from M's work computer.

That chocolate/carb overload last weekend was a bad idea. Since then I've been extra hungry, craving sugar and CRANKY. Time to rein things in-- today I had a really stressful day at work, culminating in getting absolutely drenched in a flash hail storm and I took it out on a whole bar of 72% cocoa chocolate, which has a lot more sugar than the TJ's one. I am not going to beat myself up about it, but I don't like feeling that sugar craving feeling all day so that needs to stop. Compared to the amount of sugar I was eating before this experiment it's not that bad, but I would prefer not to eat so much in one sitting. It is not good for me for a whole bunch of reasons. There might be a PMS component to this sudden need for chocolate too.

Crossfit last night was great, though I'm really feeling it today. It was all about calisthenics again: warm up: 3 x 10: pushups, pullups, situps and squats, then we worked on knees to elbows (I got closer!) and kipping swings.

Full workout: 10 minutes of 40 seconds squats, then 20 seconds "dead bug" (an ab thing where you lay on your back with your feet in the air and reach toward your feet trying to have as little of your back on the floor as possible), 40 seconds push ups and repeat with no breaks. Those pushups killed, as my arms were already spent from all the other hanging stuff we already did, but it's my legs that are really feeling it today from all the squats. Afterwards we reviewed thruster and front squat form. I was sad my buddy S hasn't shown up the last few classes and buddy A has graduated to the big kids class (I have two more onramp to go!)

It was funny-- my first week of Onramp there were a few girls that were WAY better than me and now being the most seasoned girl in the class, they were looking at me like I was so strong (one of the girls said something about me being buff-- I told her it was all relative and pointed out some of the hard core awesome chicks in the real WOD class). Excuse me while I rant for a second: What bugs me about a lot of the women in this class (and I am sure I am guilty of this sometimes too, but I try hard not to) is they don't believe they can do things and or they are nervous to fail and so they try to be cutesy or laugh and give up or complain about how hard it is when we just started. This annoys me. Just TRY. TRY HARD. If you fall down, get back up. If it burns and is super uncomfortable then GOOD you are doing it right. If I wanted it to be easy I would have stuck with walking and pilates. I am here to get my ass kicked so that it looks and performs better. Just because you are a girl doesn't mean you have to be weak. The fact you are overweight means you actually have more muscle than a lot of people because you need it to haul that stuff around. So stop complaining and WORK. Of course I say this having had a very different relationship with weight training then many women my age-- I've lifted weights on and off since I was 15 or 16-- half my life, and I've experimented with a lot of different workouts and even took (though didn't finish) a course to become a personal trainer. But I was never an athelete, I am not particularly well coordinated and while I'm not a weakling, I'm not crazy strong. I just TRY and TRY HARD. (see? I told you I'm cranky!) *steps off soap box*

Food yesterday:
breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs and the soup I made last weekend
lunch: left over lamb, kale and a bit of beef stir-fry
dinner (post workout): made pot roast, broccoli and yams. I think the yams after the workout made me feel good and helped me sleep, but it might have been too much today, given all the sugar cravings (but maybe that was from the chocolate over the weekend). Tomorrow I'll do yams again but not as much.

Today: had a ridiculous soup-tastrophe this morning. I don't know why I chose a tupperware I know to be leaky for transporting soup other than I was really tired and not thinking. I had soup everywhere in my work bag-- not pretty. I mixed it with some left over pot roast and had some coffee mid morning with coconut milk.
Lunch: leftover potroast and somewhat undercooked broccoli. The combination of a stressful day, trying to finish something on a deadline and being at battle with microsoft word + forgetting to take half my digestive enzymes resulted in very poor digestion.
Dinner: eaten at M's desk, as this is our last super long Tuesday where I wait at his office while he plays basketball (yay! last game of the season! It's hard on both of us to stay so late). Also had a giant chocolate bar and a kombucha.

In tracking my temperatures this month I had a couple days when I took melatonin where my morning temps took a bizzare nosedive for two days. Melatonin is a hormone--maybe it messed with my progesterone. It also gave me a hangover until almost 3pm, so I'm done with that stuff! I'm resigned to the fact that pregnancy is not likely to occur soon. Obsessing over diet modifications and crossfit have been a welcome change from thinking about that. If my temps and cycles don't even out in a few months I'll go get some blood tests done but I've decided not to worry about it for now and focus on healing my gut, getting my blood sugar balanced out, and getting in better shape. Hopefully I can lose the Ms. Crankypants attitude soon too!

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