Day 18: buzzy

I only got maybe 6.5 hours of sleep last night and I woke up a bunch of times. Strangely though I felt pretty good today. I'm not sure if it's my new supplement (the one that made me feel like crap had Rhodiola in it which is overstimulating for me. New one is just iodine, ashwaganda (a more calming adaptogenic herb, and L-tyrosine which is some how thyroid supportive but I can't remember why), the 1/2 cup of caffeinated coffee I had this morning, or I'm just finally past the initial crap detox feeling but it was a good day-- my energy was so good I was very fidgety at work and had to keep getting up to walk around the hospital so as not to keep sitting. I did have a sleepy hour between work and xfit, but felt great after I worked out.

Food:

Breakfast 1/4 lb ground beef and a sauteed mix of roasted bell peppers (frozen from TJs), and a mix of stir-fry veggies (also from TJs, not frozen) which I cooked with garlic and a little olive oil. I saved breakfast this time until I got to work, but still only felt like eating half. Also had a 1/4 of an avocado in there. Coffee had 1-2 T lite coconut milk.

Lunch: Made a huge container of 3 salmon patties from TJs (which looked absolutely disgusting when I cooked them last night but actually were yummy) which I mixed with some of the same veggie mix from breakfast and a little avocado. Only ate half of this as well.

Afternoon: got really hungry about 2:30 and finished my breakfast, but found while driving home from work was still super hungry, but got home at 5 and didn't want to eat anything heavy before xfit. Had berries and a bit of coconut cream (1/4 c?). Still kind of wanted protein but didn't eat anything else so I didn't puke!

XFit: awesome calisthenics Tabata interval workout. In tabata intervals you do 20 seconds of work with 10 seconds of rest, over and over for 4 minutes. We did push-ups for 4 min, then sit-ups, then jumping pull-ups (that was the hardest) and then 2 min of bear crawl, which is where you walk around with your hands and feet touching the ground (I thought that was kinda fun). It was a great workout and my arms will definitely be sore tomorrow.

Dinner: due to poor planning on my part dinner wasn't until 9pm. I came home from x fit around 8 and decided I really wanted steak and brussels sprouts. The only problem is that roasting brussels sprouts takes 40 minutes and the steak was frozen. Oops. It was yummy though! Now I'm trying to stay awake until 11 so my food has time to digest but I'm getting very sleepy.

Sometime this weekend maybe I'll do a post on supplements and what I'm taking. I'm definitely encouraged by how good I felt today-- I hope it wasn't just adrenaline and cortisol from sleep deprivation!

Day 16 & 17: Hard Rock Sugar

Yesterday M and I had dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe because that's where his work event was. I ordered a cobb salad with no cheese. Unfortunately the bacon was very sweet and I ended up having sugar cravings all evening-- I gave in when I got home with half an apple with coconut cream, a tsp or so of sunflower seed butter (which unfortunately I discovered also has a bit of sugar in it) and a couple oz of pot roast. I also have had some residual digestive discomfort all day-- not sure if it was because I didn't have any digestive enzymes with me, or because of all the raw lettuce as I have been mostly (purposely) been sticking to mostly cooked veggies because I have trouble digesting a lot of raw stuff. (Hopefully this resolves by the time summer produce comes around!)

Breakfast yesterday & today: chicken thighs I cooked in the crockpot in the leftover sauce from the pot roast, with avocado and napa cabbage. A couple tablespoons of coconut cream.

Lunch: leftover pot roast, collard greens, coconut cream.

Dinner tonight: I roasted that questionable turkey, and as I feared it was not good-- sooooo dry and tough! I ate a few bites mixed with avocado and broccoli and gave up. I will try and make soup out of the rest-- hopefully that will help. I wasn't that hungry I guess because I could have gone looking for something else to eat but didn't.

Crossfit: not very intense tonight. There were only three of us in the class, as the rest of the class went yesterday instead of today. We worked on rowing (coordination is not my strong suit so this was complicated) and then deadlifts. I got the form down okay but J said my right hip (which has been tight/high for years) was noticeably doing all the work and if a max deadlift workout comes up I should stick with lower weight for now because I could hurt myself with that imbalance. We worked on foam rolling those muscles afterward-- I should really keep trying to loosen up that side as often as I can.

I think I'm O'Ding on coconut milk and I'm going to cut back on it-- those extra calories add up and I don't think I really need them. One of these days I'll get back to actually having pictures!

Day 15: Low carb beeotch

I'm not sure if it's the lower carbs, lower calories or what but the last few days I have had SUCH a short fuse, and I can't seem to hang on to things-- I am constantly dropping stuff which pisses me off. Listening to Robb Wolf's podcasts he says it can take 2-4 weeks to adapt to eating lower carbs. I really hope it doesn't take much longer-- I am not fun to be around just now. Strangely, Crossfit last night really helped. I left the house cranky and not in the mood and by the time our workout was over I was feeling great! So maybe it's not the carb thing, since you'd think if I didn't have enough fuel I would be even worse off. But our workout wasn't very aerobic so who knows. Crossfit: we practiced a lot of squat form, first without weight, then with a 45 pound bar. I think I did probably 75 squats during the practice. I have a hard time keeping my knees out- they really want to point in. Next we practiced doing planks which was tough! Our actual workout was 7 minutes of as many thrusters as you can do (thrusters being a squat to an overhead press). My shoulders killed on this, much more than my legs, but my legs are feeling it today. Besides the good endorphins from exercise, Crossfit helped my mood, I think because we have such a good dynamic among the girls in the class-- we tease and cheer for each other and it makes it fun. I was sad I'm not going to make it tonight, but long work day + M's evening "schmoozing" work event he's taking me to for our unofficial date night means getting home too late for class. Gives my legs some time to recover anyway. Food yesterday: B: left over ground beef, broccoli and guacamole L: a can of salmon plus sauteed greens cooked in olive oil and garlic and topped with a few chopped olives-- couple spoonfuls of coconut cream (on the side-- mixed with lemon juice it almost tastes like yogurt!). S: still pretty hungry mid afternoon and trying to get away from fruit as a snack so I had two eggs and some avocado. D: I made pot roast which turned out kind of disappointingly. It was rather dry-- the first time I made that recipe it was unbelievably good and the past few times it comes out dry-- I think it might be my new oven running hotter. Anyway, the wine sauce made it edible but it wasn't the best pot roast ever. Finally, I would like to share this post, by Amy Kubal a Registered Dietitian who is all about Paleo on not letting the number on the scale rule your life-- even though it is completely normal for me to plateau the second (and sometimes third) weeks of trying something new, I still get frustrated at not seeing the numbers move. Her post was very timely for me.

Day 14: Spring in Seattle

Last night for dinner I made the mustard pork chops from Everyday paleo. They were super yummy, even though I used regular mustard instead of dijon (1/2 a cup is a lot of freaking mustard!) It took way longer than 5-8 minutes in the oven to get them cooked through-- maybe hers were thinner than mine. M. suggested saving half the mustard mixture as a dipping sauce-- since most of it burns off onto the pan when you sear them this is a fantastic idea. Today we spent a pleasant day doing a lot of walking-- we walked all over downtown Seattle and Pike Place Market for about three hours, and I noticed my legs were just a smidge still sore from Thursday! It was one of those Spring days where the weather can't make up it's mind-- back and forth between rain and sun and back again. I felt like crap most of yesterday-- today was better though I'm still kind of dragging and I think it's because I need to eat more carbs. Food today: Breakfast: eggs with salsa and bacon, 1/2 cup or so strawberries snack: decaf coffee with light coconut milk Lunch: leftover pork chop, greens cooked in the leftover bacon fat, a few more strawberries with coconut milk snack: 1/2 apple with 1 tsp sunflower seed butter mixed with coconut cream Dinner: steak, broccoli, a few yam fries, a couple bites of strawberries This was way more carbs than I usually eat but I think I might have needed it. I am continuing to experiment with what makes me feel good. I have been feeling that dragging not enough carbs feeling I was waiting for about a week ago.

Day 13: Anxiety and Compromise

I added up the cost of all my grocery bills for the past two weeks and the weekly average was a staggering $225. That's about $75-$100 over budget each week. Ack! In this household, when you want to analyze something you make a spreadsheet (M. and I are all about the Excel spreadsheets, though he is much better at the complex ones that I am). I figured out the percentage of budget I was spending in each category (meat, fruit, veg, fat and other) and set a budget. I went to three stores and had mini-anxiety attacks in each one about meat. The problem is this: I believe in grass fed, pastured, organic etc. It's healthier for me, healthier for the environment, better for the animal-- all around a better idea, especially when you are doing Paleo and eating a ton of meat. The problem is it costs THREE TIMES more than the regular kind of meat. Which is where my grocery anxiety sets in because I usually buy 75% of our protein from relatively clean sources-- as free of hormones and antibiotics and stuff as I can get, grass fed when I can, and now and then we eat some steak that's the normal kind. I like that system, but right now, for the next month until I get caught up with the grocery budget, that is not going to happen. I felt guilty and anxious about buying so much regular meat, wondering how much exposure to antibiotics and hormones I'm going to be getting and fretting about it. But I did get my budget down. Here's what I bought: H-Mart: the local Asian grocery store. I don't normally shop there-- I find it overwhelming. It reminded me of being in Japan, except everything had a label that was something like English. The meat section I just gave up on-- none of the cuts of meat were recognizable and it didn't smell very good. I got a shocking deal on strawberries and onions: organic strawberries for 0.99 a pound and a 5 lb bag of onions for $1.89. I also bought some chard, kale, yams, and a 15 lb frozen antibiotic free "natural" turkey for $14: it looks like it's been in the freezer a while (probably since Thanksgiving) so it was a risk but it was a good deal and hopefully it's not too freezer burned! I bought a couple organic apples but they look like the might be a little old. Total: $32.62 Trader Joes: I'm mad at myself for not paying more attention here. I thought the ground beef that wasn't grass fed was $2.25/lb, but when I got home I realized that must not have applied to the extra lean which was $4.49/lb. Still $2 cheaper than the grassfed, but I might have gotten some of each if I knew the real price. Anyway I bought 3 pounds of that, antibiotic free chicken thighs, 2 giant bags of Southern Greens blend, shredded cabbage, zucchini, brussels sprouts, frozen roasted bell peppers, and a can of light coconut milk, which I don't think I'm going to like but it was half the cost of the kind I usually get so I'll try it. Total: $42.49 Fred Meyer: I really want to make pot roast this week and didn't find any at either of the other stores so I stopped in at FM and bought a 4lb one, plus 2 lbs of steak, a can of regular coconut milk (still not my fav brand, but that seems to be only at the health food store), and a jar of salsa that was on sale. Total: $36.55 Sub-total: $111.66 Yesterday I went to our local butcher, which weirdly carries antibiotic/hormone free meat but not grass-fed, and bought 1/2lb of pepper bacon and 4 pork chops for $15 Grand total: $126.66 I also still have some frozen fish, 1/2 a costco sized bag of broccoli, 3 avocados, 5 apples and a few kiwis left from last week. I'm hoping this is more than enough for the week-- I wasn't sure how far that turkey would stretch. Maybe next week there will be more wiggle room for some grass fed stuff. Hopefully we won't keel over and die from so much conventionally grown meat. *sigh* The more I learn about nutrition, the more guilt and anxiety over not eating optimally seems to weigh on me. I'm going to have to just accept that I'm doing the best I can and go from there. As for how I feel-- I started taking a couple herbal supplements to try and support my adrenal glands yesterday and I feel a little buzzy on them-- I don't think I slept very soundly-- I had a lot of strange dreams, and in the midst of my shopping I got really dizzy, which I think might be a not enough carbs with breakfast issue. I have not lost any more weight, but the scale is only one part of the equation. More to come.

Days 11 & 12: tired, hungry and too fishy

Yesterday and today I've had problems with breakfast, which have resulted in me being hungry all day.

Yesterday I ate left over cod for breakfast-- or at least I tried. Since on days I work from home I don't normally eat until 9:30, fish before 7am was not very appetizing. I ate maybe half of it and packed the rest thinking I might eat it when I got to work, but I really don't like reheating stuff, fish especially so many times-- I'm squeamish about food poisoning after a bad experience I had once with leftover salmon. Thus, I ate lunch early, which was unfortunately tuna-- I'd packed that lunch two days before so I forgot I had a fish lunch and wouldn't have chosen fish again for breakfast. I got home from work, had berries and coconut milk before Crossfit and yummy grassfed steak and zucchini for dinner.

I woke up really hungry and made two hard boiled eggs and bacon. I have some sort of psychological block against eating more than two eggs at at time-- any more than that grosses me out. Unfortunately this was just not enough food. I had lunch a couple hours later-- turkey chorizo sausage with avocado and a bit of asparagus, but by 4pm I was starving again. The berries and coconut milk didn't do anything to fix it. It's only 5pm-- early for dinner but I think I'm going to have to start making it soon.

Crossfit yesterday was fun, though chaotic. Instead of the onramp class doing something separate from the main WOD, everybody in the gym (30+ people?) did the same workout. It's hard to explain but I'll take a stab: We were in teams of 4 (except I was on the one team of 5) and we did the following circuit:

400 m row (we could have run instead but the whole team was on board with rowing)
Step-ups/box jumps
Kettlebell deadlifts
Burpees (evil!)
and our group also did ring rows since we had 5 people

Each person was at one station, and then when the rower finishes their 400m they tap out the step-up person, and the step up person moves to kettlebells etc. You keep going until you get tapped out, and everyone keeps working for 16 minutes. When you are doing burpees 16 minutes is a long freaking time. It was fun though, and a good workout.

Today I'm pretty wiped. I slept 11 hours and am still tired-- it takes me a long time to recover from commuting days, especially back to back ones with crossfit to top it off.

We are out of almost everything-- this weekend I've got to plan food for the week and try and figure out how to do this a little more cheaply. I've been taking tips from Paleo on a Budget and am going to try out some of her ideas.

I had a lovely time over tea with my friend Stevie this afternoon and it was a good test of what I've retained so far about the science of paleo as I tried to explain it to her. She and I have been friends since 7th grade and she's a secret science nerd hiding in makeup like me so it's always fun to chat with her.

One more thing and then I need to shut up and go eat something before I pass out: I haven't really lost much weight so far (maybe 2 pounds of water) but today my favorite jeans that had gotten just tight enough not to be comfortable a couple of weeks ago now fit again (not loose like they once were but they aren't cutting off the circulation) and my digestion seems to be improving everyday-- I can't remember the last time I went this long without the near chronic gas/bloating issues I had before. Good sign!

Day 10: rest day

With the lack of sleep and all over soreness and tiredness happening today, I decided if I went to Crossfit I'd probably be too wrecked to go Thursday, so I opted to rest today so that the workouts are a little more spread out. I've also been listening to Robb Wolf's podcasts (which are great!) and he talks a lot about how a lot of times people who do Crossfit have a tendency to overtrain and not lose fat because of high cortisol. As I have a tendency toward higher cortisol and adrenal fatigue anyway I want to be careful not to burn myself out too early in the game.

Food today was good-- I brought enough food to work for once:

Breakfast: leftover stuffed pepper from last night with avocado

mid-morning: decaf coffee with a couple tablespoons of coconut milk

Lunch: leftover shredded chicken over mixed greens cooked in bacon fat and olive oil topped with salsa, and another tablespoon or so of coconut cream/milk eaten right off the spoon.

What's funny is I didn't think I liked coconut milk, but the Thai Kitchen kind seems to be 3/4 coconut cream and that stuff is delicious.

Dinner: I kind of invented this recipe on the spot:

4 small pieces of cod, covered in olive oil, lemon juice, pepper and a smidge of sea salt*, then cover all of that in shredded napa cabbage, chopped basil and more lemon juice. Bake at 400 degrees until fish is 145 degrees internally. (The package said it would be 10-12 minutes, but it was more like 20). A little leftover broccoli on the side and a 1/2 cup of frozen berries with a dollup of coconut cream for dessert (fruit is much better tolerated with a meal than on it's own for me, no matter how much fat is on it!)

*A note on salt: this is not strictly paleo, but I don't use a lot of it and as I tend toward low blood pressure, it helps me avoid dizzy spells so I keep using it. As only about 30% of the population is salt sensitive, I don't think this is something that necessarily needs to be avoided, especially when you don't eat processed foods.

No pics today-- too tired. I really am not sleeping well after Crossfit and I think it's just too much stimulation too late in the day. Hopefully once onramp is over moving to the 5:30 class will be a sufficient fix-- I can work out in the morning, but my energy is a lot better in the evening and I like the dynamic of people in the classes better at that time of day.